Corona : June 1999 - October 2012

It is with a heavy heart between tears that I write of the sadness that has fell upon HP Haven this evening.   We have lost our beloved dog Corona tonight.   I type this in hope that it will be healing therapy for the love of something greater then I.  

As we sit tonight in the silence of our home wondering how we move on when there are so many signs that she is still supposed to be here.   Everywhere you look there are painful memories, her dishes, her toys, her beds.   There are even dirty foot prints on the kitchen floor from when she came in late last night that I just don't want to wipe up because they are the last ones she will make in this home.    She has taken a little piece of our hearts with her to another place.   We are lonely now and in time it will pass and we will remember her in her glory of life.   We will remember the little piece of her heart she gave to us.   She gave it with no thought of any return kindness.   She gave it with abandon.   She gave it unconditionally.   She was a perfect dog right until the end.   Never a mean bone in her body just a pure golden heart.   She was one of a kind...special.

She told us that it was time.   As painfully difficult as it was to see her pass, we knew that another round of tests and palliative care at an animal hospital was not how we wanted her last days.  She would be alone in a kennel with strangers, strange dogs and strange sounds.   She would be frightened and alone.   We were with her as she transitioned over and we stayed with her and sobbed in each others arms.   Grief stricken and unsure what to say or do.   Knowing that things would be different when we walked out of there.   Death is always so painful for the living.

Her memory will live with us forever; as we try and find our inner compass to move on to the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year.   She will guide us through this time in our subconscious and help us be grateful for the time we had with her.   There were very few bad times so it will be easy to honour her life through the fun we had together.  The nightly walks to the creek that were on dog time...because they were her walks so she set the pace!   Doubling back was a common occurrence.   The fun swims at the lake on the hot dog days of summer (during the big black out in 2003).   When she would paddle around in her life jacket and then suddenly stop and just float for awhile because she was tired.   The endless squeaking of stuff toys to the point that the toy would look perfect (OK well maybe not perfect, more like matted and crusty from slobber) but no holes with a broken squeaker.   The Christmas she ate the lights off the tree and pooed sparkles!    The coffee table with bite marks on the leg.   The puffs of fur floating throughout the house.   I know that a year from now I will remember her by pulling a strand of her hair from an well worn sweater.   Those are the things that will remind us that we had such love from a creature with no voice.  

The world can be a cruel place...to offer us such love and take it away.   But I know that with this terrible sadness of tonight it is only because we have felt such pure love.  
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.   So tonight I will sob for the loss of a companion because this tight emptiness in my heart is because of the depth of the love we shared.   We wouldn't be fortunate enough to feel such loss if there had not been such love.

Safe Travels My Friend...Until we meet Again...I'll bring a ball.