Blogging Hiatus Comes to A Close

I have been on a small hiatus from the blog since before Christmas.  I needed a bit of time to regroup and get through Christmas.   It's been a rough couple months and within this period there was another loss on the farm.  The stray cat that found us at the old farm and made the transition to HP Haven moved on to the other side.   Kitty was a lively part of the family.   She started her days as a barn cat but quickly transitioned to an indoor / outdoor cat.   Kitty was a prolific hunter and was 8 pounds of raw tiger.   She owned her space.   If there is one thing I learned from Kitty...it was how to own your energy and project it.   She demanded a wide breath from 65 lbs Goldens and they more than willing to give it to her.   She could hold ground by sitting still and you could see the confidence she projected.   There's something really special about an animal that finds you and stays rather than you finding it.    This makes her passing have a unique feel to the loss.   It's loosing something that let you love it and knowing it loved you too...because it stayed.   

May there be good hunting Kitty....that was your first love.

I missed the entire Christmas and holiday season for updates.  It was an extremely busy time here on the farm.   DH and I hosted an awesome Christmas open house with over 50 people attending to celebrate the start of the Christmas season.   We went through an abundance of libation and food...and it was so great to see so many people.   The weather certainly cooperated and all the good cheer was just what my mojo needed to get the season started.

Mom worked her magic again this year adorning the property with beautiful pots of greenery.   It's such a treat to come home and see beautiful things that were created with love as you enter.  My mom made a special addition for me this year...she made these amazing horse head wreaths for the front gates.   Mom...you are the best ever.   Love you!

Christmas came up so fast afterwards.   We hosted family Christmas at the farm as we have done since we moved here.   It was a lovely dinner with all my closest family.  AND a special thanks to my friend Terry for the beautiful new table runner that adorned my table for Christmas dinner.  :-)

These beautiful flowers decorated the house over the holiday season.   With the loss of Wanda at the start of Dec, my very close group of art friends sent this beautiful bouquet with a deeply heartfelt poem.   Thank you Donna for the special touch.    Ladies, I am so grateful to have you in my group of friends.  xo.   

These roses were a surprise from work.  Someone I work with left them in my office on a shutdown night with a note on my white board telling me 'Merry Christmas and Sorry for the loss of my 2 family members'.  Curiously, no one is owing up to them but on that long night and right before Christmas, it was a lovely gesture and thank you co-worker(s) for keeping me in your hearts and thoughts in this touching way. 

The new year was rang in with a resolution run in Hamilton with friends Theresa and Melissa.   Got the year started on the right foot running wise and then DH and I had a bonfire together with the fur kids.

Speaking of resolutions which many make in the new year...I again this year, opt to not make resolutions but have a word that I try to live by throughout the year.   This word is used to focus or refocus my energy and direction throughout the year to try and live more authentically and with my whole heart.   

This year I am choosing the word Courage.

Courage is defined as the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation.   I want to embody the mental and spiritual aspect of courage through out this year to unify conscience, fear and action; to mobilize me from within.   

I want to fight the demons inside.   It's a fact; we all have them.   I'm not special in this respect.   One day, we all have to face them and I guess this is my reckoning year.

I want to have the courage to say no.   I want the courage to change.    Accept change and make changes.   The courage to face what is right and the courage to take risks.   I want to have the courage to bare defeat without losing heart.   I want to have the courage to stand up and shout but also the courage to sit down and listen.   But most of all, I want the courage to let go.   To let go of the people and the situations that are no longer serving me.  To do this with no regret.   To take what it offered and just let the rest go.   To let go of what is holding me back and what may never be.   I want to have the courage to tackle the things I am most afraid of losing.   So I can let go...knowing the risk of loss and once and for all, be free.   

So...In short, as life starts to take the wind out of my sails...I will stop.    I will breath.    I will think "Let it Go".   In some cases it my be more appropriate to say "Fuck it!" and I will choose that instead.   

Because I have a beating heart, there is no way to get away from the challenges of life or facing adversity in life.   

This year I will embody courage.   

To heal.   

To change.   

To act.   

To grow.

Running has started for 2016 with the Robbie Burns 8K in Burlington.    I have plans to run the full 30K Around The Bay (ATB) this year.  That race is on my running bucket list and the 2 guys I work with that I ran the relay with last year are going to run the full race too.  In order to stay motivated I have signed up for races early in the season this year and I have joined a running crew for ATB training.    I finished the Robbie Burns in 40:04 which was good enough for a Bronze Ontario Masters Athletics placing in my age group!

A blog post without Stewy after this long wouldn't be right.  :-)   

Stuart is now officially part of the Hanoverian breed.   He has been accepted for registration and has been branded.   He wasn't perfectly still during this somewhat archaic branding process so the H of his brand is a bit smudged.   Either way he is official and I await his registration papers from Germany in the coming months.

I think he has grown just a little too!

I have been fortunate to have been riding this lovely guy for the last month or more a couple days a week.   Thank you from the bottom of my heart Lynda for sharing your beautiful boy with me as I transition through this difficult time with no riding horse of my own.   For the first time in over 20+ years I find myself with no riding horse.   It's certainly created a significant hole in my life that has proven to be more difficult than I imagined to fill.   Catching a ride on this guy has been a step in the healing process.