Happy 10th Anniversary

Ten years ago today I married this man.

I have learned a lot in 10 years of marriage.   I have learned that marriage is made up of two good forgivers.  Because every marriage is made up of two sinners. (Romans 3:23)  
In 10 years we have seen the full cycle of highs and lows that love and loss generate in a decade of life together.
He has stood with me, behind me, at times in front of me and even against me....protecting me, supporting me, pushing me and forgiving me.    Through our 10 years I have more than tested him and vise-a-versa.   Our opposite dispositions at times creating our opposition; yet also creating a sense of balance.   

Coincidentally, when on holidays this summer our conversation somehow came around to him telling me that one thing he dislikes about me is that I am quite demanding.  He quickly added that it's not all bad, that at times the 'demanding me' is for all the right reasons.   He also quickly added that he knows that my demanding personality is with good intent but sometimes it can be difficult.   He recognized I demand a great deal from myself, not just from others.   I sat there listening in somewhat shock, in somewhat recognition of my own shortcoming.  It's not like that's the first time I heard it.   But does it ever get easier to hear negative feedback about yourself...especially from the ones you love?   The part that stuck and the part that has likely kept us married for 10 years was what he said afterwards.   He said, "I have learned how to manage you and ignore you at the same time.  I filter and I decide what I will let you push me around on and I just ignore the other stuff."   So in the end...his indifference to my demands (which I hate by the way) is also the personality trait he possesses that has kept us married for 10 years!   

You may be saying, Ok what's the moral of this story?   The moral is this...Sometimes love knows no limits to its harshness, its intimacy, its level of flexibility and inflexibility .   Love sometimes hurts us and comforts us in the same breath, by the same person.   It can make us crazy.  It's the same endorphins in our brain that get released by a loved one that get released from an addiction.   Love can make us feel like we can do anything, be anything and achieve anything...and once we have tasted it, we always want more.   The thing about love...when it's good, it's really good.   But when it's bad, it's really bad and it hurts like hell.   If you can find the way within your love to balance those ups and downs...that's what will keep you from going crazy.

In 10 years the romance of the early years is maybe less than it once was. (;-)   Life events tend to trump romance as time passes but love is the pillar that forms in all those dull moments were everyday life happens.   The infinity of house chores, the monotony of cutting acres of grass or weeding of gardens and the treachery of hard labor that comes with being working farmers.   Love is the peaceful dull moments that happen when all the other stuff is going on that seem like nothing.   But this is the love that adds up into a life.   Love shows up in all forms...the smallest gesture, the cheeky comment, the goofy grin when your exhausted and even the somber silence in a heated argument. 

It's been one helluva decade...We've certainly weathered a tremendous bunch of storms thus far.   We've grown, we've learned and we have become new people.
Much Love
xo