A Tribute to My Mom on Mother's Day

When I was a small girl I told my mother, “When I grow up I want to be a farmer’s wife.”   

This coming from the daughter who’s mother went back to work 8 weeks after she was born.    I was saying this to a woman who worked in a male dominated workplace until she retired.   My mother never deterred me from this plan; even tho I am sure she had to have thought that maybe I should be aiming for a modern day “career”.  (Side bar for all the farmer’s wives reading this…I am not saying being a farmers wife is a bad career choice!   It just wasn’t one I believe my mother thought was going to work out for me).    I look back on this as I think of all the women before me that have fought so bloody hard to get the rights in place that I now enjoy.   My mother had set an unspoken example…I too am a woman in a male dominated workforce.   It’s not strange to find myself at meetings with 30 people and be the only one with no Y chromosome in the room.   (Women still have a long way to go when it comes to equality…but more on that another day).   This farmer’s wife idea wasn’t so farfetched in my 10 year old head.   We lived on a small farm, we raised animals, we lived in an old farm house.  At 10 years old how could staying on a farm with horses and critters ever be less than fun?   Time passed, I grew up, made my way into post secondary education and found my place in the workforce.   I think my mother never deterring me from that dream of being a farmer’s wife really had an effect on my future…I’m now the farmer…not just the wife!  

I look back on the example my mother had set for me as caregiver, wife, mother, friend, driver, creator, gardener, painter…I could really go on here…I don’t think she realized how much of a profound influence she provided to me growing up.   Maybe I never even realized it until now as an adult when I can reflect back on those bygone days.  But she shaped me with her love of the arts, her endless will to provide us with a better life by working shifts and making ends meet with overtime whenever it was available.    She set an example of how to work hard, save for what you wanted to buy and be kind to all living things.    I will not follow my parents example on everything in life but my mother is a woman of her generation that set up their daughters to be more than what history had already revealed for woman.   

As I look back over time from when I told my mom I wanted to be a farmer’s wife and to where I am now; I realize she was just setting me up to run the farm, not just be the wife.   She set me up to be confident, determined and hard working.   She also tried her hardest to instill patience, love and kindness in me.   I don’t think this dream would have been realized if this farmer's wife dream had been squished at that tender age of 10.   Not to down play the 30 years in between here…There has been a lot of life lived and a lot of guidance provided from a number of sources since.   I am not foolish enough believe that I could do this on my own either.   Without DH and his endless support of me, my love of horses and a vision of something more than working at a steel mill till the end of our time…HP Haven wouldn’t even be reality.   But this is a tribute to my mom…for letting this little girl dream and then showing her that dreams can be big.

Thank you mom for being such a positive life influence.   For being an listening ear, my cheering squad and my kick in the pants when I needed that to.   In part, it's because of you that I am the woman I am today.

Love you and thank you everyday.

Always Your Little Girl...