A Month in Pictures - Josh Nichol Clinic, Running, Gardening….

Spring brings on all kinds of busy-ness on the farm.

Busy-ness in the best of ways.   Yes, the farm is "work" but things you love don't always come easy…and if they were easy; would we truly appreciate how special they are and how much they add to our lives?  

Gardening

Growing things is something I have always loved to do.   As much as my house plants would prefer to move out…perennial gardening is my favourite with a veggie garden running a close second.

With a drum roll please…the perennial beds around the house are finally ready for plants!!

The automatic watering system is nearly complete and numerous new plants have been purchased and will start the beds journey into lush and beautiful over the next several years. 

The front and south side of the house

The north side

A huge thank you to my mom…who is a self made horticulturist and avid gardener…without your vision this would never have been possible.    To my dad who was the backhoe operator for the excavation of the treacherous clay.   To DH for just smiling every time my mom and I showed him the next version and how much bigger it was getting.  

And last but not least…my supervisors / assistants below for their inspiration and motivation!

A 5 minute break in the hammock when gardening is the only place I can go when I am this filthy!

Flag Pole

The wind in late March tore the old weathered flag from the winter right off the pole.   Unfortunately, it also released the rope from the top pulley.   So it required restringing in order to put up the new flag.   Since I was the lightest of the crew…I was elected to climb the extension ladder to the top rung; that was secured in the bucket of the tractor, lifted to it's highest point.   Don't try this at home folks!  It was shaking but the view was great…taller than the house!

And the flag flies again.

Running

A few more races completed as the spring season continues…even tho the heat feels like the summer running season!   

Theresa and I completed the Sulphur Springs 10K Trail Race in the Dundas Valley Conservation Area. I just love this race even tho it has to be the most challenging trail hill course I run each year.  

We both finished in the top of our age groups…despite the 32º temperature with humidity at 8am!  

I was 22/170 for females and 6/48 for females 40-49. 

I have started running with the NorthShore Runners in Port Dover on a semi regular basis.  It's a great group of runners of all ages, speeds and distances.   No matter how you're feeling there will always be someone running at your pace for the night.   Scot does a great job training us with challenging and varied workouts.

I ran the South Coast 5K with NSR.    Derek won the 5K for the men and I was 2nd for the females.

Most recently I ran the Phlox Race Trail Run at the Brant Conservation Area.   Amazingly beautiful course and Debbie from the Runner's Den in Paris does a fantastic job organizing and providing prizes for the winners!   The footbridge over the Grand River and the phlox in full bloom throughout the course make this a never miss race.

My first race wearing NorthShore Colours!!  :-)

13/94 Overall, 5/74 Women and 2/19 Women 40-49

Before I leave the running topic…the PB board has been updated to remove the marathon TBD!   This bucket list goal is now recorded and I have added a second rod for the accumulating race medals.

Stewy

Stuart is 4 weeks into his 6 week lay up.   It seems that surgery has maybe improved his attitude a degree so far.   (Fingers crossed)   His hock looks excellent and he's not had a single lame step before or after his surgery, so I am pleased.  

The weather hasn't been ideal for stall rest but Stewy has been making the best of it!

I know this is not the best confirmation shot but when he only gets outside for a limited amount of hours per day at this point, getting him to stand still for a picture is nearly impossible!

I think he has grown again…he's almost 1 year old now and he's 15hh!   His growth has slowed some (thankfully) so I expect that he will mature to be a tall boy but not enormous.

Josh Nichol Clinic

Saving the best til last…I had an amazingly perfect first clinic with Erla at the Josh Nichol clinic.

I was apprehensive about taking her out for the first time when I felt like we had so much more getting to know each other to do.   But this tremendously supportive and open group of friends and the loving and powerful energy from Josh, made my worry disappear and turn into compassion and kindness for her willingness to let herself loose and trust through her fear.   Every clinic we say this is the best clinic yet and then the next clinic surpasses the last.   A true testament to the teacher and the wonderful group of women that creates the environment for positive, open learning without judgement.  

This group is a support network on my journey to being a better human.  Together we are travelling down different paths on the same journey.  I am so grateful and humbled to call this group my friends.   

And…as if she just "knew" what I needed…Erl settled perfectly into her covered outdoor stall at 

The 17 Ranch.   

Sometimes we come into a place and we feel "different".   Sometimes we don't really understand what we are feeling but we just feel calm, loved and surrounded with warmth.  It's that sense that, some people you just feel good being around them because they improve your mood and vitality.

Everyone and everything emits energy.   What I feel every time I am in Josh's presence and the presence of this wonderful group is what I will call heart energy.   It's energy I can feel from this groups hearts.  It's kindness, giving, empathy and a genuine connection.  I feel the unspoken sense of acceptance; not judgement.   The feeling that no one is a fake.   Through our hearts in this group we are present; together, building our heart energy and overcoming our fears and negativity.   This is a powerful energy with an extreme draw…one that we have found as a group through our horses.

Onward…with Love.

SD

Passion… Plus Marathon Running, Stewy's Surgery, Girls Weekend, Farm Life

Over the last several months the idea of passion has come up so many times in my conversations and thoughts that I just can't ignore it anymore.

Sometimes fate draws us to something or someone that we need as part of our journey through this lifetime to take us to a higher existence.   Sometimes we are lucky enough to understand these chance meetings or long term relationships.   Sometimes we don't understand their significance until much later.   Sometimes we never know.   Sometimes it's a teacher.  A Coach.   A like minded person that shares something of interest.   Sometimes it's a non human companion.  Sometimes it's the other half of a bad relationship.   A bully.   A co-worker that never stops complaining.   A circumstance you find yourself in that you need to make a choice.  A choice to be a priority and not an option.   

It's a knowledge, that you have this one life and that you better live it while you have it.  It's a fire that burns from within us.  It's a stubborn fire that sits in wait for the right opportunity.  It's silent...waiting.  Even if it's unwanted...it will eventually stir within us and we won't be able to stop it.   It speaks to us.   It will guide us.  It will eventually rule us and we will obey.   Because we have no choice or because we have made a choice that passion is more powerful than the existence we already know.   That we must throw ourselves blindly into the wind because to not know passion is to have not loved with abandon.   It will get us lost so that we can find ourselves.   Passion is what makes love last.   It's what we suffer for because it's worth the risk and we would rather kill ourselves trying than to never find out if we could.   It's the passion and satisfaction that lasts when happiness fades or the happiness gets too tough to maintain.   It's the long term connection we have to what's inside us that lights our fire.   It's the reason we get up in the morning and the reason we fall into bed exhausted.    

When it's not the reason; these are the saddest of people.  They have yet to know the depth of their life's meaning.   The purpose they have on this journey.   I truly feel sorry for these people because this is the consolation prize of just sex without love.   When we don't know what our passion is...we don't know ourselves in our finest form.   Without passion we don't know the depth of love.   The fierceness of anger.  The emptiness of grief or the clarity of hatred.   Without passion for someone, something or some cause, we live a life with borders.   Our cup never run-ith over; our souls never shine from our hearts with the joy of knowing we made a choice to be a victor.   Because suffering as a victim or suffering as a victor are not the same.   Without passion we live half a life, content but flat.  Once we discover what we are willing to pay a price for; we have found our passion, our mission, our purpose.   Surely, the feeling of existence beyond ones self can't be just contained within me.....

Marathon

I personally became a passion victor this month.  :-)  On my 43rd Birthday I ran my first marathon.  42.2K on a cold rainy day.   There were high and low emotions.  There was some significant suffering to finish that race but some considerable joy in the realization that ones mind and body can be pushed beyond previously known limits.    

I maintained a 6:18 pace for the distance in the 6C rain for 4 hours and 29 minutes.   The last 5K had a strong headwind.  Rain was in our faces and there was a small hill in the last 3K that felt like Everest.    But I crossed that finish line and I knew I had made it!   All the hours of training had got me to a goal.   It wasn't something that anyone could give to me it had to be earned.   I had to do it on my own.   No one could hand over a marathon to me.    There was no entitlement.   Everyone that crossed that line that day had to earn it and had to have enough passion burning in their bellies to move their feet.   I had made it under my goal time and I had finished a race that created a check on my bucket list.   I am proud of this goal accomplished.   I am proud of the fact that I am one of the stats that makes up less than 0.5% of Canadians that have completed a marathon. 

 Theresa and I at the finish gate as we both hugged and held back tears!

Theresa, Mel and I also all ran the Mercedes 10K in Oakville.  We all posted PB 10K times!!

Horses

The farm seen Dr Tom out for routine vaccinations this month.   All were grand troopers.

Stewy has since been gelded and had a minor surgery on his hock at Milton Equine Hospital.   He is now on stall rest for 6 weeks!   Eek that should be fun with the little monster!   So far he's been a decent patient.  DH and I created a temporary outdoor stall in the old run-in shelter so he can have visitors and also look out over the farm fields.

Erla has been progressing in her training with wonderful ease.   We are learning each other a little more every day.  

We have been practising self loading on the trailer and she's doing fantastic! 

Girls Weekend

Every year the girls I went to grade school and high school with get together to share space and company.

This year Sheri opened up her home for us and we had a fabulous weekend together.   

These women are the tribe of women I will grow old with.   They are the women who know my history and who share wisdom of years of knowing each other.   These friendships are ones that cannot be replaced with new friends because the history we share together is what connects us.   These women are my clan.   My family.  My strength.

Farm

The farm has seen the lush grass of spring sprout and the horses filling up on the their first turnout.

The first Trilliums bloom in the woods.

This beautiful sunrise...

The Killdeer's are also back in 3 locations this year.   This one is on the driveway rounding the bend to the house.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and they day you find out why. - Mark Twain

Around The Bay and Erla's Big Adventure

Time has been the universal equalizer over the last several weeks.   I have had little time to devote to the blog; as I was busy living life or creating a living!

Running has been a huge part of the last 3 weeks.

I participated in the Around The Bay Road Race in support of St Joseph's Healthcare.    As many know, I have benefited from the care provided by Hamilton Health Sciences in 2007 when I broke my leg and crushed my ankle.   Last summer, my Papa Bear also benefited after is accident on the farm.   The team I was on last year for the relay decided to run the full 30K this year along with another Mntce guy in our group Jason.   

This year was the best fundraising year to date!   I hosted 2 breakfasts and the annual bake sale and was able to raise $2430 for our team.   Thank you to everyone who gave what they could and supported a great cause.

This race was a bucket list race for me.   It was the farthest race distance I have ever ran and the reason that I had started training on Friday nights and Saturday mornings since January to build up my endurance.  I have learned from this process that endurance and speed are different training plans.   

Here is a pre-race picture of the PCR Mntce Contingent!   Norm, Lew, Jay and I

 And the 2015 Relay Team completes the full distance as individuals in 2016.

I was so fortunate to have the woman who started me on this running journey be at the finish line to walk me though to the medal area!   Lynn...all this running is because of you!   You believed I could run when we only walked on lunch and you started my addiction to race morning energy with the Around the Bay 5K 4 years ago!   Thank you for being there at the finish of my biggest race. xo

Another huge thank you goes out to my best ever race cohort, Theresa.   You have been an on going inspiration in my life with your true authenticity and continual drive to be a better version of yourself every single day.  xo

Me, Theresa and Mel at the post race celebration in Gibson Lounge.

Prior to the Bay Race...Theresa and I also ran the Good Friday 5K in Burlington.  

Since the bay race, I have ran 2 longer distance long slow runs to continue building my endurance distance to 42.2K...next bucket list check and goal is the marathon!

Last weekend I ran from home to Hewitt's Dairy the local ice cream parlour!   It was a 28K journey with some hilly terrain and cooler temps.   Having a delicious destination certainly makes the distance fade away!

Ran 35K as my last LSR...from the start of the Brantford to Hamilton Rail Trail.   I was dropped off at the trail head in Branford adjacent to the Grand River and followed it all the way to Ancaster.   This time A&W was the big reward!

Endurance running has taken me into a new realm of needing running fuel and lots of water on course to prevent the nasty muscle cramping from dehydration.  After some experimentation, all natural maple syrup fuels are the best!  I started off with some common commercial gels.   The ingredients I couldn't even pronounce and they really left me feeling unwell about 2 hours after I stopped running.   I did a bit of research and the great people at Runner's Den, on King in Hamilton helped me out with these natural fuels when I told them about my GI upset.   Instead of the gummy gels that add the sugar and sodium on a long run I have switched to dark chocolate with sea salt from Lindt!   Way tastier and as you all know chocolate has no ill affects on my GI tract!!

Gear for my last LSR.  (New shoes, Garmin watch, New Yurbuds headphones, water, maple syrup fuels and Lindt chocolate individually wrapped).

Riding has started to creep its way back into my daily existence.   Erla's training has been slow to start but even in the limited number of rides she has gained ground on so many fronts.   Her ground work is really getting obvious and under saddle, she is becoming straighter and more forward.   After several rides with improved steering and stopping, we attempted a successful first time cantering!   We even ventured outside to ride in the big outdoor ring.    This old loving soul is softening the rough edges on my broken heart.   She's got her own broken pieces that I hope to help her with...at least as much as she is helping me.

Here she is on her first trip outside.

And this is my view from her first adventure to the bush and back.

With spring now here...the hope of new growth and new life are drifting in the wind.   

#1 pasture has been over seeded again by DH in the early morning hours.   The seed was likely laid a bit too late last fall and missed the germination cycle.   Fingers crossed that this new seed catches and provides the bloom that only fresh spring grass can provide to the coats of horses.  This pasture will be closed for most of 2016 as the pasture matures and regenerates.

The dust which seems to creep into the footing of the indoor over the cold winter months has been damped with MAG again this year.   With less traffic in the arena than normal this winter, the dust control was laid a few months later than normal.   

Here is DH and his side kick harrowing prior to the MAG being spread.

Me spreading the old fashioned way!

The final product…arena is closed for a couple days now as the footing absorbs the product.

This lovely orchid that we received as a gift at our farm open house from Tony and Linda is blooming again.

This mini beauty greets me with its radiance every morning when I first wake up.   It's in the upstairs bathroom and serves as a gentle reminder that growth sometimes isn't beautiful in all of it's phases through the cycles of change.  The pasty leaves and the dead stalk that once displayed beautiful flowers for several months withers and breaks.   After some time to rest and rejuvenate, without any coaxing at all...a new leaf begins to form and a tender new stalk rise from the roots.  The reminder...to be gentle with ourselves and have courage to bloom again when our original flowers have faded.  The blooms are worth the wait and shows the resilience of nature to bring forth beauty.

And of course a blog post just wouldn't be complete without something regarding the 2 fur kids!   They visited their Aunt Terrie and had a spa treatment!

Marley in the tub

Molly fluffy and clipped

Choices, Chilly Half Marathon and Stewy's Big Adventure

When something begins...you generally have no idea how it's going to end.
Life on the farm has changed so much in the last 12 months.
So many changes that have shaped the journey in ways that I would never have guessed were part of the route.   Some of those changes had to do with choices.  Conscious choices that created the direction and moved the plan forward.  

Some of those changes had nothing to do with choices.   The choices have come after the change was made.   The choice was how the situation was handled and how it was reacted to.  So, since I have no idea how this is going end...I am going to try and continue living.   I want to exercise my right to choose; to be happy.

I am going to choose to not let the picture I was carrying in my head on how this was supposed to play out screw me up.
I am stepping back and reconnecting to riding by going back to basics.   I need to reconnect to the reason I started riding in the first place as a little girl.   Horses give me wings to fly.   Freedom to love without judgement.   Hope to carry me forward.  

Erla has come into my life to become a human growth facilitator.   She will become a significant piece of my journey in healing and learning courage.  She will be a therapist.  A mentor.  A friend.  A master in guiding my personal reflection.  A mirror for my growth.  She will help me stay grounded and focused on the fact that things that are worthwhile take time.   That sitting in awkward and uncomfortable really is OK.   It's temporary and it too will pass.  It presents a choice to wait and be patient or be anxious with uncertainty. 

Erla presents a calm place in the storm of life.   I will honour her for her ability to be present, be honest and most of all be authentic.

Here is Erla on our first ride together.   From Paddock to Podium!

Running has been ramping up this winter for the Around The Bay Road Race.   I have been training on long runs with a group from Burlington on the North Shore hills which are a difficult and significant part of the Bay Race route.   There are 7 hills...
Here is the elevation chart from the ATB race accurately described!

As part of my training plan, I ran my first Half Marathon since Sept 2013.   The Chilly Half Marathon in Burlington.   I stripped 21 minutes from my previous first half marathon time!   Running the Chilly in 1:57:46.  Felt great to erase that PB from the inspiration board in the gym and replace it with that new time. 
Here I am with my running partner Theresa who ran a successful Frosty 5K as her opening race for 2016.

This month also seen new lighting installed in the indoor!   Finally after 3 long winters, the crappy dark lighting is gone and the new high bay lighting is completed.  

And Stewy made his first journey to the back of the property to the trail through the woods.   He was curious and afraid but confident and bold all in the same 45 minutes!    It's amazing to watch him learn and discover and see things for the very first time.   As he looked back on the barn from the hill part way back to the woods, his eyes were so wide!   His heart was pounding.   He looked around and I could see from his expression he couldn't believe there was a big world outside of his paddock.  

Love this pony!   I sure hope he grows into those ears!

And last but of course not least...a huge shout out to one of my very best friends in this world...Reta.   Happy 89th Birthday!   Love you to the moon and back.  xo

What I have learned so far…

We spend a lot of our lives worrying about what hasn't even happened.  About what has happened that we can't change.  We try to predict the future.  We try to figure it all out to somehow cushion the blow. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest dreams.   But one thing is for sure…when the future finally reveals itself...its generally not how we imagined it.

Erland (Erla) joins Team HP Haven

Life isn't fair.   Shit goes wrong.   People lie.   Feelings get hurt.   Promises get broken.   Plans don't work out.  

But it's still not a reason to give up.   It's still not a reason to lose hope.   It's not a reason to waiver, when courage is all it takes to fight back and change wrong to right.
Courage is my power word this year.    The courage to let go of the "I can't"s, the courage to change my story and believe again.  Courage is about tackling the fear.   The fear of changing a story that you already know the ending to.   The tragic ending.   The ending that doesn't tell the true story about the relationship.  

Today the story turns a new page.   A page that helps reflect the relationship and not the tragedy.   Today the story reconnects meaning to the relationship.   It takes courage.   It will take lots of courage as the days pass and the story evolves.   Today is the first step towards tomorrow.   

Today a new life joins my story.  A new life; that in some small part of my heart will soften the hurt.   Start the healing.  Foster courage.   Rewrite the story.

Today Erland (Erla) came home.   She's an old fashioned type warmblood with the boxy body and shorter legs.  She's an introvert with a real workmanlike attitude and a kind, steady disposition.   She's been with her first family and breeders since her birth 6 years ago.   She was loved like a family member and that love will remain part of her journey with me.    She's green...very green.  She has limited walk and trot under saddle but she has a lovely foundation on the ground which will make the transition to riding much more fluid.    She proved her strong foundation and good mind when it took no more than 2 minutes to get her on the trailer when we picked her up.   There was nothing more than a few sniffs as she hopped right in and traveled quietly for the 2+ hour ride home.  She arrived at her new home with her little chin quivering with anxiety.   But even though her outward display of anxiety was evident, her mind was calm yet curious.   

I will let this part of the rewriting of my story evolve at the pace it needs to heal and stay positive.   I will embody courage.   I will rewrite tragedy with a new focus on what was gained in the relationship.   Thank you Izzy for being such an important part of my story.

Erla meeting her twerpy little brother Stewy